“These people are obscene!” The chief stew moves on to mock their requests, “I’ll tell you what they said, ‘Bollinger?! You no have anything better?'” She mimics the Asian accent outstandingly. “Then, they didn’t even ask what wines we had just, ‘We want your best wine! Yes, you bring us your best wine.’ You’ll get what you’re given, freeloader.” Beautifully blunt imagine the reaction if she actually said that to them
The Kiwi chef gets a laugh as he prepares his best guess at what they might like to eat mixed with what he feels like cooking.
“So what are the canapes?” Already slightly flustered she pauses at the door ready for a complicated list of ingredients
“Thyme and Gruyere goujeres,”
“Ok, but actually what are they?”
“Well, cheesy puffs, and,” The lazy Kiwi vowels make it particularly difficult for her as the moody chef points at the other plate, “golden beet with burrata, macarona almond and cress.”
The lines come off and the yacht pulls out of the habour, the sun low in the sky, the seas slight, barely a breeze. The 186ft mast is just for decoration today.
“Ar so what is the menu?” She takes a deep breath
“Mango and lime tart with macadamia pastry,”
“Wait what? Oh you started with dessert?”
“Yeah I havnt figured out what to call my starter yet. Main is horseradish and lime butter poached lobster with lobster mushroom bread pudding.”
She scribbles some notes, “Uh-huh.”
“And well, scallop cerviche with raspberry and Kona Kampachi crudo.”
“What is Cona Campachy?”
“A sustainable alternative for a popular sushi fish that’s raised in cages off the Hawaiian coast.”
More stilted explanations, then as slices of lobster mushroom hit the saute pan the radio crackles, “They are asking for soy and wasabi.”
“Fuckers are turning my creation into sashimi!” He vents to himself, “Ok”
The sashimi process takes too long, the lobster get too warm and chewy. “Fuck!” The chef miscounts and has to throw another claw in for reheating as the rest of the plates march upstairs. “Awh, I forgot to take a photo.”
“Very happy guests.” A better radio crackle
Another round of crew dinner is sloped out, the first bison and potato salad is now just a pile of dressed greens, all the meat has been picked out by passing crew. Lamb and fried rice.
Coffee time and lovely requests of the stewardess
“Oh, we want double, you bring us double every time we want double.”
“Maybe you no understand him but dinner was lovely but it no fill him up so do you have udon or lamen?”
“Sure, just give me five minutes and I’ll chat to the chef, I’ll be right back.”
For breakfast the chef decides on the obscene
Green tea and black sesame cupcakes with beet cream cheese frosting, just part of the throw so much food at them they wont order anything and will just leave technique adopted.